‘Amber Heard’ continues to struggle with ‘Post-MeToo’ victim blaming

Actress Amber Heard seriously stares at the camera while in court.

picture: Evelyn Hochstein (Getty Images)

“She’s not a perfect victim,” says Mariska Hargitay. Law & Order: SVU. Recently Addresses Say The same about Amber Heard. he heard Said a lot about herself. “But, she’s not making this up,” Hargitay says.

I let Law and order Play on TV while I do other frivolous things, like scribbling or scribbling in my journal. Like other abuse victims I know, I find comfort in a TV show that pretends victims can really win. But hearing Hargitay say those words brought my attention back to our less heavenly reality, where Amber Heard, whose name has been like a neon ribbon banner in the back of my head for the past two months, is still glued to online vitriol. People keep pushing for her to get a cut of it Aquaman 2 And he posted pictures of Johnny Depp wearing a crop top for 38 years. You can’t do anything online without seeing him smile and seeing unwarranted hate. It’s an inescapable feeling, and I feel like people hate imperfect women more than they can explicitly state.

No one remembers the truth of the trial, but you cannot escape from a single bloody detail, Not in popular Twitch streams orchestrated by gossip gaming characters, or on TikTokWhere Abda Dib turned Heard’s testimony in millions of likesOr Instagram or YouTube. It’s everywhere. But contrary to what our overkill might think, this experience wasn’t about who people on Twitter find more stylish, who participated in more nostalgic childhood movies, or who looked hotter in the ’90s. It was a defamation trial over three vague sentences in a 2018 op-ed where Heard refers to her personal experience With violence and sexual assault.

She did not mention Johnny Depp in her article, but he sued her for $50 million in damages. Before this trial, Depp tried to file a lawsuit for defamation after the British tabloid the sun He called it a ‘wife beater’, a phrase a British judge found accurate then Considering evidence of 12 counts of alleged assault.

Not surprisingly, the judge ruled this way. You may have seen Heard’s face purple healing bruises or deep middle finger bleedingWhich It gives conflicting stories about how to cut him (he heard a bottle throw? It crashed into a locked door?), though he agrees that he used her falling wound. To write I heard red threatening letters. He sent vile text messages about Heard that his lawyer said were inspired by “literature giants like Hunter S. Thompson,” including a text message to actor Paul Bettany that said “I’ll sleep her cremated body afterwards to make sure she’s dead.” How do I write.

I heard she suffered from confirmed Deb abuse, but her name and the abuse victims she represents – incomplete because we cry, because domestic violence is emotionally complex and heard She said she still loves him– They are disposed of. Our stories are scrutinized and denied because… why? Is it about the movies again?

It can’t just be movies. To me, this reaction to Heard’s imperfections is a flood of hatred that has always been there. Sometimes they get buried – At the beginning of the #MeToo movement, the belief that women were more socially acceptable because women came together, you just have to Everyone already knows Harvey Weinstein was a dirty piece. But there are darker times in pop culture, like when the world laughed when a broken-down Britney Spears criticized the crowded paparazzi. with umbrellaor When GamerGate mocked And I drew an ugly line in the sand: Women, especially complex women, are not welcome here.

A complex woman cannot be perfect. People, including other women, want the physical beauty, the porcelain-virgin face of Jane Eyre and not the wild-haired Bertha Mason (the guy locks her up in the attic, somehow crazy?), or, in video games, the pink Princess Peach, the curvy Lara Crofts. But they also demand emotional perfection. Calm, level head, and no conflicting facial expressions like Amber Heard, crying in one second and alert in the second. People don’t want to see anything that indicates that this woman, as she is, is really just a human being. She makes mistakes. Sometimes you respond, or misspelled.

When a woman misspoke because the situation she described was so painful, she wanted to forget it, because a litigious man with the same amount of power and money as Depp tried to make a memory out of her, I want to say that the world would come to her aid. We’re supposed to be after GamerGate and post-MeToo. I want to believe that we are all now equipped with the basic understanding that abuse is multifaceted, sometimes subtle, always subtle, and confusing. But Heard continues to be mistreated in the court of public opinion, and as a result, other real, imperfect victims know with certainty that we are unsupported. Not until we correct our stories or line up our tears. That’s why I watch perfect shows like SVU. It’s not real. It probably never will be, but I can’t help but hope.