II’m bad at the internet. I’ve always been more observant than my post. My cousins were the first to have a computer and internet in our family. I remember climbing into a very high bar stool watching my older cousin play The Sims while she was ignoring me. I’ve kept my distance ever since.
Asking you to condense everything done into a ranked list of 10 is somewhat of an impossible task. And to be honest, the funniest things I’ve seen on the internet are screenshots in group chats that I can’t share here. Fortunately, The Guardian did a big song and dance about how everything should be “legal” and not “meaningful”, significantly reducing the size of the internet.
So here are the 10 funniest things on the internet that won’t make me raise litigation or this good post.
That wouldn’t be funny to me Tina Turner He led an incredibly gay advertising campaign for rugby league in the late ’80s and early ’90s. I grew up in the rugby league stronghold of Ipswich and I remember watching these ads on TV. Unfortunately, I didn’t watch my dad play the game I love, because whenever I attended, he had already been sent into the Sin Chest.
In 2016, Angie Bowie was on Big Brother in the UK when she was told the very sad news of the death of her ex-husband, David Bowie. She confided to her housemate Tiffany Pollard that David had died. Here tragedy gives way to comedy: David Geist was hiding under Donna in the next room and Pollard thought Geist had suddenly died of cancer in the diary room. Without getting clarification, she told the whole house: “David is dead.”
Geist was found alive and away under his dugout. In a tragic twist, He died just months later, and right before embarking on his “David Gest is Not Dead But Alive With Soul” tour. Out of respect, Pollard has withdrawn the sale of her David is Dead T-shirts. You cannot write this.
This video makes me laugh so much It’s basically Amy Sedaris referring to every store in her neighborhood that she thinks is a drug front. All at four in the morning. This video has become more entertaining for me since I moved to Melbourne. People in Melbourne like to point out the drug fronts. I am now referring to the drug fronts. I live across the road from a very popular drug front. I became my guiding star, that’s how I explain to people where I live.
5. Amy Sedaris’ song Friday Night
Yes, well, I love Amy Sedaris; I only read David’s books because sometimes there are stories about Amy in them. I know this clip won’t be new to anyone, but I’ve never been bored with having this song in my head. Appearing every Saturday morning during lockdown was a real treat.
I love this clip because I’m going to be a comedy And the Nerd movie And the It’s black and white. Yes, I am the worst guest at a dinner party. I’m not an aeronautical engineer but I live far from home and don’t call my dad nearly as well as I should (sorry mom and dad) and I feel as though I lived through this exact phone call, except for the rockets. A drawing that is still funny 60 years later is quite an achievement.
I would argue that this might be the greatest achievement Mike Nichols and Ellen May have ever had and that Nichols is EGOT (but May is funnier).
I am the pooja team. This is exactly my mood any time I’ve cleaned anything in a shared house. So my mess. Get. turning off. Mine. Back.
I find the rising world of soap funny. Excerpts from that drama without context? Yes please. This isn’t just word of mouth, 10 minutes into this year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival show was just my appreciation for the home and out stories.
In this little gem, Ailsa pulls Irene away from a special word and hands the line to end all lines: “If my son swallows a Chinese auditor, I want to know about him!”
9. Tik Tok
I won’t pretend to use it tik tok. You know me better than this. Bar chair. Sims. observer. Instead, I have a housemate who sometimes sends me videos that she thinks are funny. I don’t always agree, but I strongly agree with those two things.
This story made me cry and laugh. Hospitality is never as straightforward as you think. I once worked in a donut cart and a man approached me and asked, “Are these donuts or are they candles?”
I don’t think you should tell an adult man the difference between a candle and a cake, so I told him they were candles. take two.
I can’t stop saying, “This is my first time walking around with a bag of onions.” Maybe the girls were messing with him. Maybe he has a creepy lookalike that loves onions. Either way you look at it, it’s super funny.
From now until the end of time, every generation will find out about Kate Bush. For the current generation of Stranger Things. For me, the first English teacher was throwing a boombox on her desk and playing Wuthering Heights all the way, before we finally announced that we’d be taking Wuthering Heights in that class. The Catcher in the Rye didn’t get the same treatment, as there’s no song for him and let’s be honest, if there was, it would have been underwhelming.
In honor of Generation Z finally waking up Kate Bush, this is Kate Bush’s favorite online moment. As with almost everything you do, it’s hard to tell if it’s real art or performance art.
Bronwyn Koss is performing as part of the promotion for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, touring across Australia; See dates here.